325: The Balance of Truth and Fiction | Kevin O’Connor

Kevin O’Connor’s Tips for Writing Memoirs

In this episode of Authors Who Lead, I sit down with Kevin O’Connor, the author of the forthcoming memoir, 2 Floors Above Grief. Scheduled for release today, O’Connor’s book provides a unique blend of memoir, travelogue, and an exploration of the mental health aspects of working in the funeral industry from the 50s, 60s, and 70s. Our conversation ranges from the intricacies of writing a memoir to the deep emotional and historical context behind his family’s funeral business.

The Emotional Journey of Memoir Writing

Kevin O’Connor’s memoir delves into the personal and family dynamics that shaped his life growing up in a family-owned funeral home. Reflecting on his family’s way of coping with grief and the social and emotional challenges posed by their profession, O’Connor presents a deeply authentic narrative. Unlike other memoirists who might fictionalize unclear memories, O’Connor insists on staying true to his recollections, lending an unprecedented authenticity to his work.

I introduce the notion of “fiction with purpose,” suggesting that fictionalizing parts of a memoir can protect real-life people and convey deeper truths. However, Kevin O’Connor remains steadfast in his belief that true emotions and human nature should guide the narrative, not just the static facts. This dedication to authenticity will resonate with readers seeking to explore the complex world of grief and the funeral industry through a genuine lens.

From Daily Discipline to Memoir Creation

Kevin’s writing journey is a testament to the power of dedication and structured routines. After retiring from a long career as an educator, Kevin finally had the time to pursue his writing aspirations. He began writing his memoir in 2021, establishing a daily routine that involved working 4-5 hours from late morning to mid-afternoon. Throughout this process, he relied on professional help, including editors and writing coaches, to ensure his content was honest and compelling.

Sticky notes covering the walls of his office played a pivotal role in his planning and writing process. These notes allowed Kevin to break down his thoughts and memories into manageable pieces, which he later wove together to create a coherent narrative. This practical approach underscores the importance of organization and dedication in memoir writing—a lesson valuable to any aspiring author.

The Challenges and Joys of Funeral Home Life

Growing up in a funeral home gives Kevin a unique perspective that is both fascinating and deeply human. His book details the operational aspects of the family business and the emotional rollercoaster that accompanied it. Kevin’s detailed accounts offer readers an intimate look into how his family navigated their professional responsibilities while managing personal grief and maintaining joy in their lives.

One particularly poignant aspect of the memoir is Kevin’s exploration of the generational differences in handling grief and societal responsibilities. By reflecting on ordinary life and its nuances across different generations, Kevin provides a comprehensive look into his family’s legacy, allowing readers to connect personal anecdotes with broader societal contexts.

Reflections and Future Projects

Kevin’s reflections during the podcast reveal much about his thoughtful approach to writing and storytelling. He acknowledges that while his current memoir focuses on multiple people and their experiences, delving into more personal stories could give rise to additional books. I suggest that expanding on individual characters’ lives and struggles could create richer narratives, which is something Kevin is considering for future projects.

Kevin is already working on his next book, tentatively titled “Navigating from Grief.” It will explore how funeral directors manage the grief they inevitably absorb from others. The fascinating stories and authentic letters dating back 40 to 60 years form the backbone of this new endeavor, promising readers another deeply engaging narrative.

Encouraging Aspiring Writers

I conclude our conversation by emphasizing the importance of finding one’s unique storytelling style. I encourage aspiring writers to explore relatable programs at authorswholead.com, emphasizing that there’s no perfect time to write; it’s about making the time when one has the passion. Kevin O’Connor’s journey is a powerful reminder that with determination and authenticity, aspiring writers can bring their unique stories to life.

Join us again next week for more captivating insights from influential authors and publishing experts. Remember to subscribe to Authors Who Lead and visit our website for more show notes and past interviews.

That’s all for this week. If you have a message inside of you that needs to be written, today is the day to start. Don’t delay—take action.