366: Breaking the Status Quo | Amy Cerny Vasterling

Amy Cerny Vasterling on Returning to Your True Self

What does it really mean to be yourself in a world that rewards conformity and disconnection?

In this episode of Authors Who Lead, I sit down with Amy Cerny Vasterling—a public speaker, author, and intuitive—to discuss her powerful new book and what it means to live beyond the model society presents to us. With two decades of research and deeply personal insights, Amy shares how we become disconnected from ourselves—and how to reconnect with our inner truth.

This conversation is one of the most thought-provoking I’ve had, and I know it will resonate with writers, creatives, and anyone feeling the stirrings of something deeper.

The Root of Disconnection: Narcissistic Social Disordering

Amy begins by asking a question she’s carried since childhood: Why don’t all people thrive?

She observed, early on, how misunderstanding and hierarchy played out in everyday moments—like a child being told they’re cranky when they’re actually hungry. These seemingly small moments build over time, separating us from our natural self-knowing. Amy calls this narcissistic social disordering—not in the clinical sense, but as a way society teaches us to doubt ourselves.

When we’re repeatedly told who we are or what we should feel, we learn to disconnect from our own truth. That disconnection shows up later as uncertainty, burnout, or feeling lost—even when things “look good” from the outside.

The Model: Hidden Hierarchies and the Price of Control

Amy introduces the idea of the model—an invisible system that encourages hierarchy, compliance, and control. We often don’t even know we’re living inside it. From schools to spiritual communities, this model rewards immaturity at the top and burdens those below.

As an educator, I’ve seen this firsthand. Even in forward-thinking schools, systems exist to keep kids in line—to make them “good” or “bad” instead of allowing them to just be themselves. That realization led me to break some rules: turning off bells, ditching hall passes, and letting kids write their own stories. That’s where the transformation begins—on the margins.

Rediscovering Our Innate Knowing

So how do we reclaim our inner compass?

Amy says we return to our personal knowing—that quiet, embodied sense of what’s true for us.

Sometimes it’s as simple as trusting the child who teaches themselves to read without pressure, or admiring the quiet power of someone who doesn’t need to say much to be felt.

We both believe that children—and the childlike qualities in all of us—are teachers. Amy puts it clearly: “Children are here to teach us. We are not here to teach them.” Vulnerability and self-expression are deeply intertwined. If we’re afraid, we don’t express ourselves. If we express ourselves, we dissolve the fear.

Writing as an Act of Vulnerability and Homecoming

Amy didn’t originally plan to write a book. But as she shares with me, encouragement from others and a deepening trust in her own voice opened the door. The writing process wasn’t linear or tidy—it was expansive. What started as one book grew into the foundation for several.

“This book is taking me home,” she says—and I feel that. Writing isn’t just about getting words on the page. It’s about coming back to who we’ve always been.

We talk about how vulnerability is the gateway. The message doesn’t have to be perfect. The words are just pointing to something deeper. Let the message come through—even if it doesn’t fit a mold.

Living Beyond the Model

Amy shares how she continues to cultivate freedom—through travel, curiosity, and staying open to what’s emerging. She reminds us that breaking free of the model doesn’t mean we’re finished products. Growth is nonlinear. Hang-ups remain. But the work is worth it.

When we express who we truly are, something beautiful happens: society shifts too. That’s how we move toward a more fluid, inclusive, and joyful future—one choice, one conversation, one truth at a time.

Final Thoughts: The Courage to Begin

If you feel that restlessness inside—the nudge that says, “There’s more”—Amy’s message is this: lean into it. Start by reading. Start by writing. Let your curiosity guide you.

And when you do, don’t wait for clarity or credentials. Trust that your knowing is valid. Your story is enough.

As Amy and I both believe: You are the teacher. The model only holds power if we keep playing its game. The moment you step outside of it—and choose truth over approval—you create space for others to do the same.

Let’s keep going. One vulnerable page at a time.

Join us again next week for more captivating insights from influential authors and publishing experts. Remember to subscribe to Authors Who Lead and visit our website for more show notes and past interviews.

That’s all for this week. If you have a message inside of you that needs to be written, today is the day to start. Don’t delay—take action.