How to Give More Than You Take
“My purpose is ‘How am I making this better in the world for other people?’ I know if I do that, all the things that I want are going to happen.” —Vincent Pugliese
When we think about doing something like building a business, creating a course, or launching a book, we often get the necessary steps in the wrong order. We build the thing and then try to ask people into our world to help us when it really should be the other way around. It would be better to build the relationships first so we can be part of a collaborative environment rather than just trying to ask for favors.
In this episode of “Authors Who Lead,” I talk with Vincent Pugliese about his new book, The Wealth of Connection: A New Approach to Making Business Personal, and how you can use your relationships to launch your book or business.
Building a Life of Freedom
In our interview, Vincent talks about homeschooling his kids. As a child, he hated school and floundered until he finally graduated. When he had his own kids, he went through the motions of sending them to school as expected. But as an entrepreneur, he and his wife realized that although they had built their life around freedom, they missed their kids during the day. Their kids were locked into the same traditional system that Vincent and his wife were trying to escape. So they decided to homeschool their kids.
After doing research about homeschooling, Vincent and his wife decided to do interest-based homeschooling. Their life of freedom was based on what they loved and were interested in, and this would now extend to their kids’ schooling. Vincent got to spend his days with his family, and his kids flourished while following their interests in their studies.
Curiosity and Character
When we follow our interests, we get curious and ask questions. Most people go through life just doing what they’re told and end up losing that curiosity, that creative side of themselves. When this happens, we miss out on opportunities and relationships.
As Vincent tells me, “Every great thing that’s happened in my life has been from curiosity. It has been from, like you said, poking the box, asking questions that other people aren’t thinking of asking.” When we embrace this curiosity, we get to see our potential and the potential in others.
Seth Godin once told Vincent that there are only two things he should be teaching his kids: how to solve interesting problems and how to lead. When you connect with others as a boss, coworker, family, classmate, or friend, you are building trust. Good leaders have good character.
Connection
Connection with others is important in the building of everything. When you have good character and people trust you, you can build these connections with others. Add a connection to curiosity and great character, and you have a great foundation for collaboration. When you are generous to others, you become a “referable person,” as Vincent tells us. You’re the one that other people will remember when you are generous with your time, are a good listener, or go the extra mile for someone.
Creation
Vincent says, “I’ve always done things the opposite.” This includes how he runs his businesses. When most people assume that entrepreneurs start with creation first. Vincent likens this to an author who writes a book and launches it only to sell three copies. They get frustrated that nobody cares. Vincent says what’s missing here is that the author is failing because they’re doing it backward. They should flip the process around and first concentrate on curiosity, character, and collaboration first before creation.
Collaboration
Once you’ve established a connection with others and they trust your character, then people are willing to share your creation. True collaboration can happen after you’ve been generous first. In terms of publishing a book, treat it like a long-term relationship and not just a single event. The relationships with your readers are to be cultivated over time, not just a one-time ask for sales or reviews.
So if you’re looking to build something new or publish a book, do it the right way; do it backward. Start with being curious about what others are doing. Listen to them and be generous.
What was your biggest takeaway from this episode? Are you ready to be curious and generous? What can you do today to build your wealth connections? Share in the comments below!
That’s all for this week. If you have a message inside of you that needs to be written, today is the day to start. Don’t delay—take action.
Episode Resource:
Connect with Vincent here:
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Get a copy of Vincent’s book here:
The Wealth of Connection: A New Approach to Making Business Personal
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