Not Every Book or Word You Write Is Ready to Share
“It took me five years, and it had zero personal stories. It was a book about other people’s teachings. And I threw it away. I invested so much time in that book, and I threw it away because my intuition was telling me this is not good enough. You have to show yourself; you have to reveal yourself.” —Dorota Stanczyk
Dorota Stanczyk spent half of her life struggling with autoimmune disease and heart disease. She was told that her diseases were incurable and she would be on medication for the rest of her life. She was convinced she would find someone who would cure her, so she traveled and talked to many different medical professionals and healers.
But she didn’t find anyone who could cure her. So she finally surrendered and accepted herself as she was, even with the imperfections, pain, and struggles. This is when she found her true abilities and cured herself from disease.
In this episode of “Author’s Who Lead,” Dorota and I talk about embracing who you are, recreating yourself, and unleashing the deep potential inside of you.
Between the constant desire to be different but also meet the expectations of others, we have a hard time accepting and embracing ourselves for who we are. We aren’t taught how to connect with ourselves, how to love, or how to stay aligned with who we are. Dorota believes that our only mission in life is to align with who we are and follow our intuition and highest self.
When we aren’t in alignment with ourselves and accepting of who we are, we tend to wear masks to protect ourselves from being rejected, hurt, and judged. And it is ourselves that first judge so harshly. We’re afraid of others seeing our guilt and shame, so we create masks not only to hide our true selves but also to hide the deep desire to really be seen.
But if we accept ourselves completely, we can ditch the masks and take those things we see through a lens of guilt and shame and turn them into gifts and strengths. We can recreate what we previously thought of as weak and shameful into our gifts.
For years I was ashamed as a teacher to admit I had dyslexia. I tried to hide it from my students and fellow teachers. Then one day I finally accepted it as part of me and shared my story. I soon came to see my dyslexia as a gift because it gave me another way to look at writing and telling stories. Now I’m able to help other writers because I don’t see their words on a page—I see the writer and the message behind the words.
We can be our own worst enemy. We are good to others, but we punish and reject ourselves. Dorota believes for this reason all autoimmune diseases are really self-love diseases. When we reject ourselves and feel like a failure, we create what Dorota calls “self-abuse,” which not only harms us emotionally but also harms our immune system.
We know we won’t ever be perfect, but when we stop caring what other people think about us, we can work on transforming our relationship with ourselves. Knowing and loving ourselves can lead to the sense that we can be more and do more. This feeling motivates us to activate the “power of creation” inside us that will allow the powerful potential inside us to manifest.
The Power of Vulnerability
When Dorota wrote her first book, she didn’t include anything personal in it. She wasn’t ready for the uncomfortable process that it would take to reveal herself. In her TEDx talk, she shared her story publicly for the very first time. This is when she discovered the power of vulnerability and “of talking about [her] imperfection.” She received feedback from people who heard her story and whose lives she had touched.
Then she wrote her second book and didn’t feel like she needed to hide anymore. She knew that she preferred to touch one person with her honest and vulnerable story rather than continue to hide behind a mask. She risked her relationships and safety to tell her story, but the pain and fear were worth it for her to help others.
Sometimes we can get caught in the trap of knowing and proving rather than being vulnerable and being willing to share ourselves authentically. But when we do find that vulnerability within us and love our authentic selves, we start to heal and grow from the things that we’ve hidden deep down inside of us.
What was your biggest takeaway from this episode? What part of your story are you hiding? Are you ready to be vulnerable and share it? Share in the comments below!
That’s all for this week. If you have a message inside of you that needs to be written, today is the day to start. Take off your mask and share your true potential.