How to Build Authority and Get More Clients
“So it became clear a few years in I needed to write something. And then a lot of people would ask me, ‘Do you have a book or something you can give me so I can give it to a friend?’” —Matt Dobschuetz
Everyone has knowledge or experience in some area of their life that, when shared, can help others. Matt Dobschuetz successfully quit porn addiction, and when people asked him how he did it, he started a podcast to share his message. He soon realized, however, that not everyone who looked for his help listened to podcasts. It became clear that he needed to write a book so that he had something to hand to people who were looking to quit their addiction.
On this week’s episode of “Authors Who Lead,” I talk to Matt Dobschuetz about his book, “Porn Free: Becoming the Type of Man Who Does Not Look at Porn”, and how he went from talking about porn addiction on a podcast to writing his book.
The Book Journey
Even though Matt talked all the time about his journey and how he was able to end his addiction, actually writing the book was a challenge for him “on a number of levels.” Not only did he struggle with figuring out how to get all his stories into a written format, he “kept going into what sounded like expert mode.” As someone who struggled with addiction for many years, he knew the last thing his readers needed was him lecturing them.
Many books on addictions are written by intellectual experts, not usually someone who has gone through the same kind of journey. Matt knew the people he was talking to needed to feel comfortable and safe with him helping them through their struggle, so he became vulnerable as he wrote his book. Sharing his own struggles helped others to not feel so alone as they battled their own addictions.
Addiction as a Solution
Most people think of an addiction as a problem in their lives. But really, it’s a solution, although not the best solution. Addiction is their way of solving a need. Matt has learned that if you see porn addiction as the solution to a need and a habit, then you can more easily address the habit of needing porn and work to change it.
After his recovery from porn addiction and later starting his podcast, Matt was surprised that although addiction groups and research were more common and accessible than they were before his journey, people still felt alone and didn’t know what to do next. This was the point where Matt realized that his story was a lot more relevant than he realized. Because he knew what it was like to struggle, he could help people through the times when they really felt alone and lost.
Editing the Book
We start our authors with visual exercises like the “mind map.” This exercise was quite the “a-ha” moment for Matt as he shared his mind map with me, even though at first he felt like he was “just throwing words kind of on the wall almost.” Once we had him start placing these words and ideas into files and inside Google Docs, it felt more like a book to him. Every morning, he would open his computer and write about whichever idea was interesting that day. He might write a paragraph or three pages, but eventually, these all flowed together into that first messy draft.
Then we sent his manuscript to a developmental editor. This experience was valuable for Matt not only to see how his book and writing could improve but also to give him the validation that he really had an important message to share.
Don’t Judge Your Book
I asked Matt what he would tell new authors as they started their book journey. He answered that he would advise them not to make any judgments about the value of their ideas or writing that comes out in these early sessions. As the book journey continues, it transforms the author first, then the message starts to form. I think that most authors who trust this process and can hold back judgment on themselves are surprised at the amazing things that come out of their book journey.
If you are ready to start your book journey and nervous about putting yourself out there, keep in mind my greatest takeaways from my conversation with Matt:
- Start taking action today, even if you aren’t sure how people will accept it. Matt has helped hundreds of men go through the process of letting go of their porn addictions, even though he was initially nervous about how they would accept him and his message.
- Remember that the problem might actually be the solution. Our addictions are a way of solving a need in our lives. We must figure out the real need and change the addictive habit that we’ve created to solve the problem.
- Writing your book is not only brave, but it’s also necessary because you’re the only one to write that book. When you write a book about something you really care about, it may be challenging because you’re putting yourself out there. Don’t let the challenging part keep you from writing your book. You’re meant to write it because there are so many people that you can help.
What was your biggest takeaway from this episode? Are you hesitant to write about what you’re passionate about because it may be controversial or not accepted by people? Share in the comments below!
That’s all for this week. Remember that only you can write the book that’s in your heart. Take that next step toward transforming yourself and others, and start your book journey today!
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