127: Mike Darcey – How to Write Your First Book

Writing and Creating Your Ideal Life

Speaker 1: Welcome to the authors who lead podcast. This podcast is dedicated to you. People who want to be inspired by authors leaders and the messages they share. This is such an important podcast to us because we help uncover what goes on behind the scenes. When authors are writing their book, we talk about the process. We talk about where they get big ideas and you can listen in on those conversations. We can't wait for you to join us. So let's get started. Everybody. I still throw on us here,

Speaker 2: Here with authors who leave. Thank you so much for being a listener and a subscribing. And if you haven't, please do we love for our podcasts, get delivered right into your inbox. Every time they go live today, we have a special guests, not only a client, someone has worked with us to write books, but also a dear friend. We have Mike Darcy here. He's a construction guy by day, and really he's considered a deconstruction guy. He worked 30 years in the construction industry and has spent a good amount of his time focusing, examining, deconstructing, improving processes and systems. And now he's using the entrepreneurial spirit to push through the construction management side and real estate investing as well as relationship development. His book, recent book love life, which is a powerful book release. I think it was two years ago now and adventure together. Yeah.

Speaker 2: Amazing adventure together. How to plan and a perfect vacation and improve your marriage at the book we're talking about today. Mike, welcome to the show. Thanks for having me glad to be here. Yeah. You know, what's interesting. Like I was doing some thinking about tracing back our sort of time together. Like when we got connected and I believe it was John Roman from the front row factor now front row dads that I must've been on his podcast. And somehow we got connected in that arena over three years ago now almost four. And it's amazing how our worlds kind of intertwined. Let's start back to that first moment where you, you know, maybe you talk about why you even joined, why you're even a part of John Roman's group. He's also another great guest we've had here on the podcast, but what led you down the path of wanting to write?

Speaker 2: The very first book could be a construction guy. Writing a book may not have been at the top of the list. It wasn't on the list at all, really, but the first moment is getting divorced in an ugly way. And so my first marriage ended pretty poorly and I got into a relationship with a wonderful woman and I promised myself weren't going to do it that way again. And things started rolling from there. I jumped into a lot more personal development. I, I did something that I realized I, now that I did it, which was, I would let my heart tell me what to do. So instead of thinking logically through everything, I was going to plan. If something felt like it was the right thing, I would go with it. And early in the personal development side, it was, I was listening to a lot of podcasts. I was listening to a lot of folks trying to help me get my life back together. And one of those guys was how Elrod and one of his best friends is John Froman. And so I was listening

Speaker 3: To both of their podcasts and the idea of all these notes and all these post-it notes. I mean, they were these little three by three little post-it note things that we were collecting on. What is the things that make our relationship work? What are the things that we should avoid? What are the things that make us happy? And as we were compiling these little pieces, we thought about our kids, my wife, Lisa, who you know, is she's adorable. And she has three kids from a previous marriage. I have two and our kids are all adults, young adults. And they were in their own relationships having a little bit of trouble, not all of them. I mean, they were having the typical kind of trouble that we were having. And it says, Hey, maybe we should share some of this information with them. And that's when the idea of, okay, let's compile this stuff.

Speaker 3: Let's make it look good. Let's make it make sense. And the spark of a book came to mind, but not really for anybody else. It was really for our little family and friends of ours would also be so delighted that our, that each of our lives have gotten significantly better because of the relationship they were asking for the same kind of advice. And if you've been married for 30 years, why do you need an advice for me? And it just, it seemed like people were just existing in their relationships, but not really flourishing. And we were really flourishing. So the spark of a book came into my head and I would listen to John Vroman's podcast and you were on it. And it's like, man, I think I could work with that guy. So that was the first phone call. It's kind of like, that's where it came from. And it was, it was all more heartfelt than it was. Yeah. That makes sense. You know, it wasn't like that. Yeah.

Speaker 2: That's interesting. A lot of people get that nudge that maybe I'm going to write a book, but then it kind of passes on by. And what you decide is that having a listening to your heart more than your head is sometimes very foreign to people. And it sounds like you learned from your previous prisoners. I did a lot of things with my head before, and maybe it's time to use my heart as the guiding force, knowing you and your beautiful wife, Lisa, and having the chance to travel with you, which is incredible. This book, adventure together, it's really meant for people who want to have an exciting and adventurous life, you know, to plan this perfect vacation, improve your marriage. A lot of people go on to trips and vacations, and that's where the cracks in the marriage starts to show up. Not so much the joy. So let's talk a little bit about why you decided to pick adventure together. I know when you and I met, that's what Steve and I were doing, traveling from our suitcase and living in different places, sailing Mediterranean, and still having our wonderful life. Tell me why adventure together is the followup book to love life, which is really about how to have a successful second marriage and adventure together kind of talks about this ongoing life that you create with your,

Speaker 3: Your partner. It certainly is. And it, and the emphasis of all of it is because we're jealous of you guys. We want it. We want to travel more as young adults and as young parents, we didn't really do any traveling. We, you know, all the money that we had, we saved for kids, you know, tuition and all that kind of fun stuff and it to support the family and the kids, but at the sacrifice of us going anywhere and actually in separate marriages were doing the same thing in separate marriages. When we got together, we decided no, we're, you know, we're so old. Now we should do a little bit of a few things for ourselves every now and then, and, and not waste it all because we might get to retirement and all of a sudden it just dropped dead and we didn't want that to happen. I forgot the question. I lost the question.

Speaker 2: Well, that helps to start off as one that you wanted to have adventure together. And I think that's the point of this book as we, you know, I obviously have an inside track to the purposes. You are basically creating the life through the book that you want to continue to have, which is, you know, I know that your wife's close to retirement. She served as a teacher for a lot of years, decades, and you both look so young, like, Oh, that's why I giggled. When you said we're getting full. I'm like you guys are so young that you wanted to have this life where you actually would have liked to travel and make this part of our grant part of our life together. And that's one of the things we talked about. Why don't you do that? Don't try to think about it. Just do it. That's it.

Speaker 3: Exactly. And the book part of it came about by us being on a, I think it was a 10 day cruise. No, it was a seven day cruise, same friend. See dream. If anybody needs to go on on a boat, see dream is the one it's perfect. Anyway, we were on this, this SI dream cruise, and we witnessed several couples that were really having a tough time at their relationship. And it was almost like they were using the travel to help them fix their relationship or to help them. And it's a, it's really a good way to, to use as a tool to fix relationship stuff. But you have to plan for, and you have to, you gotta go in with the right mindset. You can't just go because there's, you know, as you know, and, and most people know a trip is never exactly what you plan, it's you get there and, and conditions, change flights get canceled.

Speaker 3: I mean, all kinds of things happen to you that add more stress. And if your relationship is already stressed, you need to be prepared for that stuff where you need to be able to address it on the spot. So that's where the, the ID, all these different things that Lisa and I kept talking about kept popping up as things to deal with beforehand or things to deal with on the spot. And how would we deal with them, which came to all these different little strategies and things that we've employed in our own life to use. So

Speaker 2: That's really great. And one of the things that people maybe you've had, if you're listening, you've had a wonderful travel time with your family or your spouse or your partner, and maybe you've had times that were not so great. You know, one of the biggest shifts that we made after we've traveled together and lived out of one, shared carry on bag of many times is things do go wrong. I mean, one time we were, you know, we bought one of those tickets that of bargain tickets that you couldn't exchange, but for you're like, that's so cheap or just, it's a really quickly, and they canceled the flight and there's no refund. So we're stuck in a country that we're meant to be just laid over. Can't get out because we don't have a ticket, but the country happened to be Spain in Madrid. So we're like, this is perfect.

Speaker 2: We're stuck in Madrid. Like, why is this a problem? This is not a problem. We'll just figure out what to do in Madrid until we can figure out how to get out of here. But a lot of people approach that as, Oh, you should've done that. You could've done it. I can't believe you did that. You shouldn't, you know, all of those kinds of attitudes that come up. And I know you talked a lot about knowing your mate inside of your book, like the different ways that people travel, not everyone travels the same. They have what you called, travel styles. Let's talk a little bit about that and all the different ways you get to know your mate and planning and preparing for travel.

Speaker 3: Well, yeah, the getting to know your mate part of the whole book is really something that should happen much earlier than you actually buying a plane ticket. I mean, it really is, you know, what are they comfortable with? Because really, if you're taking a vacation of any sort, that's the main goal is to have a good time and be comfortable and relax. And in my first marriage, I really didn't know my me, I didn't know my ex-wife. She used her personality, what you cared about. And I just want it to go, go, go, go, go. That was my style. That was my travel style. Let's hit every possible attraction we can possibly hit. And that wasn't hers. And she liked having every nuance planned when in a thing like traveling, which you can't really rely on anything being planned. I mean, you have to go with the flow much more than, than you would in any sort of other thing, because, and particularly now with things that has, they changed so quickly and so dramatically.

Speaker 2: Yeah, it's incredible. There's so many little details to making travel happen well with your spouse. So, and for those listening, we've got to be in multiple places with like Michael lives in beautiful Hawaii, which is amazing. And we flew there with Steve's parents, Peggy and smokey. And so we got to spend time with him in his home. Steve and I, additionally, we stopped over in Puerto Rico to hang out with Mike, Hey, I got an extra room, come hang out, turned out to week, turned into two weeks, turned into a month. And then Mike said, I got to go, I move, I'm going back to the islands, the other islands. And we're like, maybe we'll just stay. So we ended up renting an apartment and staying there for over a year. And then Mike and his wife, Lisa came to Portugal and stay with us in our place in Portugal. So it's really incredible.

Speaker 3: Last year, you really love it

Speaker 2: So much fun. It was like slow down time. We did simple things. That's how we live when we're there. It's just, it was, it was such a joy. And I really got to see those practices. A lot of people write a book about things that interest them, but you guys really have lived it out. You really have shown how this can work. Mainly because probably like, like a lot of us, we failed enough to know what doesn't work.

Speaker 3: Absolutely. That's the key. And in our coaching practice, that's one of the things is people give up at this point and if you're right there, I mean, it's, it's that old adage. You, you you're right at the edge of success, but you've gone through a lot of pain to get there. And so a lot of the folks that have gone through a divorce and then that kind of thing there, I give up already. I mean, they're having that kind of mentality. It's like, no, no, no, no, you got all this. You learned so much in this pain that you know exactly what you want, you know exactly what you don't want. Uh, and that goes with traveling too. It's the more you do, the better you get at it. And same. And not that I want somebody to get married five times or anything, but it's, it's, you learn so much in a first marriage that you want to

Speaker 2: Learn from somebody else who's already had a, well, let's say successful unfruitful first marriage, you know, the statistics. Aren't great for second marriages. Both of you are in second marriages. Yeah. I plan on beating the odds, you know, that's my goal. So, and thus far, it's been brilliant. And let's talk about the book writing process, because I know when you wrote the first book, there was a little bit of resistance because, you know, you've never written a book. Like it was a journey. So let's talk about that first book, what it was like, what it felt like to sit down, to write a book and then we'll talk about how was it different than the second book. So let's start with the first one. How did that strike you? Like just diving into something that was totally new. If you're working in construction, writing a book, wasn't at the top of the list of things you did on daily basis,

Speaker 3: It wasn't anywhere near any list. To be honest with you. The, what I started out with was a bunch of, again, little post-it notes and short paragraphs of things that we thought were, it was very, not transactional, but, but it was like a, how to book. It was like a relationships for dummies kind of book, but it didn't have any story into it. It didn't have. And so in the first book writing process, it was very uncomfortable to tell my own personal story on paper. It was, that was kind of unheard of. And it made, that was the part of the book writing process. That was really, really difficult. The, and more so, and I could write, I could tell my story, but it was harder to do that. Then even learning the new things about the publishing side and all that other stuff that you ended up having to do, if you're going to create a book. Yeah.

Speaker 2: So yeah, I remember the process, just extracting this idea out of you. Like, I want to write a book about these things for my kids to figure out what it, what the message is and like that whole brand. And I think that was the focus that we had is like, what's the brand we can build here. And, you know, love life was a pretty incredible focus, you know? Cause it allows it to be the focus of even the next book. It's funny, I looked today at love life and you have it on, you know, at the time of this recording, it's on special and it's like, number one and number two in three categories, I'm like, Oh God, that's awesome. Um, what was it like tackling the second book because no one's prepared for the first one. And the second one has a whole nother life. Tell us about the process. What was different about that?

Speaker 3: One thing that I've learned over the last two, three years is I love this process. This is so fun. Writing books is fun for me, but it's really the content side of it and creating it. That was really fun. The second book was much more enjoyable to do than the first. And partly because I knew what was going to happen. It wasn't a surprise every step of the way. If you know, you get to the next, the next room and you open the door and it's like, everything's brand new. Now I get to the next room. I look inside and go, Oh, I remember that. I recall that. I remember when I'm supposed to do that. And it flowed significantly easier still trying to extract more the developmental editor. She wanted me to extract more of my story in certain areas and things like that, but it was felt much more comfortable doing it, partly because I've bared my soul in the first book of this is my mess. This is the terrible creation I've created. Right. And yeah, it was it's fun. And so books three and four are in process in terms of, in some form along the way with yes. It's. I like it. I love it.

Speaker 2: Yeah. You're hooked awesome. In the writing books on let's give people. Cause if you're, you know, you're loving it, you like the process, you're creating content people. You have a community now. And we'll talk a little bit about that in a second of people who are marriage, isn't quite what they want, but they want this fruitful marriage. And so what advice would you have with somebody who's like thinking about writing it, but aren't certain that maybe they have the skill or the talent, or even the time to write a book

Speaker 3: Time. I probably can't talk too much, but the talent or the skill, I don't have it either. I

Speaker 2: Mean,

Speaker 3: And I suggest this to, to anybody who has a story, which is everybody start writing out your story. If it's for no other purpose than to give it to your kids, to let them know what you were thinking when you were thinking is it's going to be a huge impact on your life. But while you write it, you keep talking about this thing, it's transformational for the author and it totally is. And so going through writing your own story down makes you come alive to the things that are really important to your life and what happened to you and how to deal with it. And so that skill part of it, I don't have any, or I have very little of it, but there's people in the process that help you along the way, the developmental editor, like my grammar is terrible. They got people in there to take care of a lot of those things. There's a lot of folks that can help you along the way. So just, just start working on the content and the idea of what you want to say and just start writing. I mean, it's simple as that.

Speaker 2: It's so true. Like you think, well, I don't know it has to be the right book. I mean, thinking your first book is going to be right or good. It's just too much pressure. Just write it and then do the second one. I love the third one. Let's talk about the strategic plan. This is a lot of people are listening to this. Maybe some people who are maybe already written a book we're really specific and intentional creating a brand around love life. And you created a whole brand. You started a community for people that want to have a thriving relationship. You knew that a book would be one conversation, but the get them outside of the book into a community was really useful. Let's talk about that. Let's talk about your community. What is it? What do you notice having a community? People, where do you host it and how has it benefited you in your book? Well, the group

Speaker 3: Is on Facebook. It's from divorce and separation to marriage mastery. And here's the honest truth. It's, it's a very selfish project, not very selfish, but it's a selfish project. The more I work with people on getting their relationship better, the smarter I get about it to serve my own relationship. And I'm going to continue doing that no matter what, it certainly helps a bunch of folks, but it's, sir, it really helps me. It really makes me a better person. And what I've found is that what I'm attracting more is the people who are really in trouble and you know, a lot of them are emotionally overwhelmed and the, they just, they can't even think for themselves. So some pretty simple, basic things will help them a great deal. They just need somebody to tell them to do it. And that's, that's been what I've been finding the last year. Yeah,

Speaker 2: That's great. So I know that one of the things we've talked about before, and it's true for a lot of authors, authors might even love the process of writing a book, like even getting the book out there, but then having to share and promote and market yourself can be a little daunting. In fact, it's super uncomfortable for me even all these years later. Tell us about how that makes you feel and what are you doing to try to overcome this notion of, you know, selling, marketing, getting your message out there.

Speaker 3: I come from the wrong background. I come from construction, nobody markets themselves in construction. We're trying to hide away. General contractors have a terrible reputation as it is for being liars and cheats and thieves. You know, so I don't, I'm not comfortable with the self promotion part of it. So I definitely need help. Uh, and the person who's mainly helping me with that is Karen roast. Who's who you had on your podcast before. She's become a very, very dear friend, but she's able to extract from our conversations in our, in the things that we had talked about, she's able to extract the parts of me that are marketable and she takes care of it because I, I can't, I don't, I don't know how to say those things about myself know

Speaker 2: She's got Karen Rose. Uh, I think she might've be episode six. She's one of the most delightful people in the whole world we've traveled together. Actually she and I, and, and see, we met up in Tennessee in person for a workshop. So we got to spend some time together, but she's fantastic. Like knowing how to market yourself as is really difficult. So if you're out there trying to figure out how to do it, get, get help for one. If you're not, if you're not certain

Speaker 3: And

Speaker 2: Marketing really is, if you, if you break it down to this marketing is your ability to serve the right people at the right time. And if you only try to sell to them when you have something to sell and instead of serving them, when you have plenty to serve, then they're going to smell, you know, the, that, Ooh, this seems fishy. We're all turned off by salesman, but it's because the car salesman comes up, right. When you're having that conversation with your spouse about which car you like, you're like, this is that getaway, right. But if you're constantly serving and when it's time to say, Hey, I have a product or service, they're like, Oh yeah, that's right. I'm learning so much. I want to join. I want to be a part of this group. And I think that's the biggest mistake that I've made in the past is being silent in between the times of lodging. And that's really the wrong attitude to take. You really got to serve in between. And then when you're launching, it's just the extension of what you're doing.

Speaker 3: Yeah. And it certainly the, I love the serving part. I love talking to people. I love helping them. I love so it fits right in. It's just, I don't know how to say, Oh, I got something to sell. You know, I just don't. I never get to that. So I need somebody else that can do that for me.

Speaker 2: Right. Well, that's important. What is this? This is incredible. I know that after writing two books, I mean, do you still struggle with, with calling yourself an author? I know it's hard for a lot of people, even though their head, they have published books.

Speaker 3: It's not, I don't struggle with calling myself an author. I just don't think of myself as an author, if that makes any sense. And I think of myself as a husband first and foremost, because, um, you know, I've really created this mission for my life or this purpose for my life of being the best husband and partner I can to Alyssa and everything else that I do serves that one purpose. So I, I really think of myself as a husband, even before I think of myself as a father or grandfather right now, I just got a little three month old is he's. He's great. Thank you. And author is in there as well as construction manager, as well as real estate investor. I mean, there's, maybe I'm just doing too many things and sometimes that's, you know, when we talk, it's like, I've got so many things on my plate and it it's true, but it's the, you make time for the things that you want to do. And writing and authorship is one of the things I want to do. I have a good time doing it. So I, you know, it's a great hobby.

Speaker 2: Yeah. Speaking of hobbies, Mike's actually a tremendous singer and sings part of a couple of groups. I don't know all the names of the groups. Cause it's been a while since she had about tell us a little bit about your hobbies outside of writing.

Speaker 3: So early in the writing, the author's bio, there was a couple of things I threw in there. Modus, I've been on Moe motorcycle rider all my life. Love it. I don't have one now because I just bought a little sports car and instead, so my wife and I can sit next to each other and talk, but that was always a hobby of mine. And in the last 20 years, 20 years, yeah, it was right at the turn of the century, turn of the millennia. I joined, I joined a barbershop chorus. So I started singing with the sounds of a local chorus. And it was the, it was the most fun I've had with my clothes on. It's just, it just is. I don't know why. So I've sang tenor for a long time and recently in the last five years or so I switched over to lead, which is basically 10 or to some, with four different quartets, just in the local area, in Honolulu and with the chorus, that's still with the sing with the chorus. And we're now all on hiatus because we can eat as a group. So that's a fun thing. Yeah.

Speaker 2: Were you a singer before you started that? Or is that something you had like, Hey, join and figured?

Speaker 3: No, I was not, I wasn't a singer. I thought I could sing, but I never really sang in never sang cuddle. Okay. I never sang in the shower. I never, but I, I was pretty sure I could sing. And I was in rotary for 20 years for a long time. And they started this little singing group within our group and we were terrible. We were really terrible, but there was one of the guys, Charles Black. He said, I want to learn how to sing better. So, um, I joined this group, the barbershop group, and he started recruiting guys into, so we, you know, four of the guys from our rotary club joined the chorus and we started seeing, you know, and one of them was in my first quartet, Jack Hashimoto. And we had a great time and we kept doing it and kept doing it. And now I'm the only one left that was in rotary. That's in the course anymore.

Speaker 2: Well, the reason that I wanted to point that out to you and let's just do something you weren't an author before we met you, obviously before that a moment you weren't in the marbles. And like, I just recently I've watched you when we lived sort of together for that month to play the guitar. I was like, I'm going to lend a guitar. I brought my guitar on this trip. I'm going to get, I got new strings. I want to figure it out, taking a course. You know, it's not too late to do the things you want to do. Write a book is definitely on a lot of people's bucket lists. And so many people don't start. You know, they have so many excuses. There is so little time, but yet so many people watch a lot of TV. So many people waste time on social media.

Speaker 2: If you just took that time and applied and wrote an hour a day, you could rent a book. If you just practice 10 minutes a day, you could learn to play guitar in a year. So I would encourage anybody. I mean, Mike and I are not spring chickens, but you know, we are taking captions to learn new things. Steve and I learned to sail two summers ago. And I was like, we didn't, you know, to be crew on the middle of a ship and learn in the minute an attorney was amazing, but that's something you just sort of take action. I think your whole book, the whole spirit of the book and the spirit of you and your wife, Lisa mentioned again, it was incredible. I will link the book here. It looks here in the show notes. And how can people connect with you, Mike, if they want to learn more about this, maybe they, they wanna learn about what you're doing and follow you. Where would they go?

Speaker 3: The, the most action that's happening is in the Facebook group from divorce and separation to master marriage mastery. But you can also get to me directly at my website. It's Mike darcy.com or get, get in touch with me through Azule. He knows how to find me.

Speaker 2: Yeah. If you need him, I'll I'll hook you up. We'll put all that in the show notes to make sure that you can join the group and find out more about Mike Mike, such a pleasure. We could chat forever. After that, I kind of forgot. People were on the other ends. I was like, Oh wait, I have all kinds of stuff. Thank you so much for sharing your truth for sharing the behind the scenes of running a book. It doesn't have to be as hard as we make it. And you don't have to be an excellent writer to get started and putting books out there. So we hope that if you're listening, you subscribe, leave a comment in a review for us. We really appreciate it. It makes a big difference to us. Those of us who have podcasts, because that's how we know how we're doing, how to improve. So thank you so much, Mike. It's a pleasure. Oh, thank you. My pleasure. Absolutely.

Speaker 1: Thank you for listening again, to another episode of authors who lead, we appreciate you being here and we hope you subscribe. So you get this delivered to your device every week. And if you haven't left us a review, please do so. It really helps. And if you have a book in your heart, you've been wanting to write a book. Please go to authors who lead.com and join us on this journey of becoming a published author.

Mike Darcey is a man on a mission, maintaining the feeling that he is living life every day as if he is on his 2nd honeymoon. As an entrepreneur, coach, investor, parent, and volunteer, he has successfully navigated tough relationships and has set his objective on discovering the secrets of outstanding marriages. 

Mike is the creator of Love Life Central, a passionate community where like-minded people learn from each other the priorities, principles, and practices that make life great. 

What We Discuss with Mike Darcey:

  • The idea of writing a book
  • Why he picked Adventure Together
  • Travel as a tool for improving relationships
  • Travel Styles: The different ways to get to know your mate, planning, and preparing for travel
  • His book writing processes for both books
  • Mike’s Facebook Community: From Divorce and Separation to Marriage Mastery
  • Marketing the book
  • Other amazing things Mike does: a testament to just do it!

[01:48] The idea of writing a book

Mike’s first marriage ended pretty poorly. Eventually, he got into a relationship with a wonderful woman. At that point, he promised himself that they weren’t going to do it that way again. From there, he jumped into doing a lot more personal development.

Mike was compiling pieces of information that he learned along his journey through personal development. The spark of a book came to mind, but it wasn’t for anybody else. It was really for their little family. Their friends were so delighted by the fact that their lives got so much better because of their relationship. And so, they were asking for the same kind of advice. 

Some people are just existing in their relationships, but not really flourishing.

[07:34] Travel as a tool for improving relationships

A trip is never exactly what you plan. You get there and conditions change. Flights get canceled. All kinds of things happen to you that add more stress. And if your relationship is already stressed, you need to be prepared for that stuff. You need to be able to address it on the spot. 

Travel is a good tool to fix relationships. But you have to plan for it and go in with the right mindset.

Getting to know your mate is something that should happen much earlier than you actually buying a plane ticket. What are they comfortable with? The main goal of taking a vacation is to have a good time and be comfortable and relax. 

But a lot of people give up at this point considering you’ve gone through a lot of pain to get there. And so a lot of the folks that have gone through a divorce have already given up and have that kind of mentality. Alternatively, you also learn so much from the pain. You now know exactly what you want and exactly what you don’t want. And that goes with traveling too. The more you travel, the better you get at it. 

[14:31] His Book Writing Process

In writing his first book, Mike was uncomfortable telling his own personal story on paper so it made the process all the more difficult.

Mike enjoyed writing the second book more than the first one. And that’s because having written a book already, he knew what was going to happen. It wasn’t a surprise every step of the way. And it flowed significantly easier. 

To other aspiring authors, start writing out your story. Then there are people in the process that can help you along the way. So just start working on the content and the idea of what you want to say, and just start writing. It’s simple as that.

[20:32] Mike’s Facebook Community: From Divorce and Separation to Marriage Mastery

The more Mike works with people on getting their relationship better, the smarter he gets about it to serve his own relationship. Mike found that he’s attracting the people who are in trouble. A lot of them are emotionally overwhelmed. So some pretty simple basic things will help them a great deal. Apparently, they just need somebody to tell them to do it. 

[22:05] Marketing the Book

Knowing how to market yourself is really difficult. So if you’re out there trying to figure out how to do it, get help.

Marketing is your ability to serve the right people at the right time. 

If you only try to sell to them when you have something to sell, and instead of serving them when you have plenty to serve, then they’re going to smell you. We’re all turned off by salesmen.

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